Ohabien everybun~
If you are reading this, it means you have taken some interest into why have been rather moody for the past month or so. This isn’t meant to garner pity, but I do feel you who have been supporting me are owned an explanation.
A good part can be attributed to my introvert nature and not being given the time to re-energize, by people IRL. This resulted in me positing the bare minimum I felt I needed to do, and eventually in me even skipping a stream. This side of my is something I really don’t like, because it also makes it harder for me to reach out to people.
Secondly, ever since I started taking streaming more serious and putting more effort into it, I have had little to no support from the people around me. My mom hates that I am pursuing this, because by her own admission she cannot understand it, or gaming in general. My dad came out with an aloof, “I don’t think you will make it, but you are having fun so.” I am not living off their money, I have a small but stable income, no debts, my bills get paid, and I have enough food on the table in my own small apartment, I have my own small car and I have enough left to save up a bit and spend on myself and improving the stream. My closest IRL friends think it is cool, but I cannot really bounce my ideas off because they don’t see the appeal of watching streamers. So my two chat mods are the two people closest to me, that I can confide in and bounce my plans on. Aside from my Live 2D model, Logo, Overlays and BGM, everything is done by me personally video and graphic edits, stream setup, you name it I have done it. And it’s something I take pride in, but it being treated as just a phase… hurts when it comes from people you hope to get some support from.
The third thing is drama, lately there have been some stuff happening on Twitter related to people that follow me, or I am mutuals with. I try to stay out of drama for a reason. I don’t do well with it. I have seen too many false allegations, ranging from mundane stuff that people blew up about for some reason, to some serious stuff. I am not saying to not believe people, I am saying however stories CAN have two sides to them and the one you expect to be true isn’t always true.
The fourth thing relates to the passing of my nephew, if you need more details regarding that you can find it here. Anyway, a little over a year after his death, his mother, and as much as I hate to admit it, my younger sister, decided it was a good time to profit from his death by making a social media post using his passing to essentially get pity gifts for my niece. The wording of the post itself was more about how she was suffering under it all, and this would be a fair point IF my nephew hadn’t been abandoned at our mom for over 11 years of his short 13-year life. It was so hard for me to read her wallow in self-pity, while I remember having to console my nephew a number of times because he felt his mother didn’t love him as much as his sister. I disowned her right then and there and made it very clear, I will not have anything to do with her from now on. I don’t blame my niece or the people around it, but I cannot forgive my sister at all.
This brings us to the present day. Tomorrow as of this writing, there is an important event regarding my nephew’s passing, and after planning and scheduling my mom tried to change plans on me to try to fit my sister in. I flat out refused, even after she tried to guilt-trip me. I have been clear to her about my stance, and I am standing by it. I cannot stop her from being present, but I will not be sharing a car with her and made it very clear I am willing to skip out on the event if they try to force me. However, I have a bad gut feeling about it and think there will be an attempt to force me to go along with their plans. This would definitely mean any relation with my mom will deteriorate, because this is a hill I am willing to die on. And I don’t think my feelings are worth less than their convenience. I guess we will have to see how it goes.
If you read it this far, thank you. As mentioned, I am doing this to inform, and I hope I have done so properly.
Thanks for all the support, although still small, I am really proud of this small community that gathered around this dumb introvert bunny.
Sincerely yours,
Inabien “Ina” Velvetale
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